Category: Diary

I can cope with bad mental health days, but I cannot cope with bad mental health months. For the past four weeks I have been feeling hopeless. constantly. I do not want to go anywhere or be around anyone. It takes a lot of nagging from my mother for me to be able to just go for a walk with the dog.

I did attend the Avenged Sevenfold tour and a Trivium show but I was with people I trust but still, nothing helped shake this black cloud feeling away. I am even starting to have nightmares which are usually “flashbacks”. I have had a few small panic attacks, that I did manage to calm myself down from with breathing exercises.

I just want to cry but nothing comes out. I just want to be left alone and not go anywhere.  There is just nothing there, no motivation, no confidence, nothing. 😦

I’m ill I know I am. The medication is supposed to help and for the most part it does. But, then come the dark days, like today. I feel completely hopeless. As if I’m no good at anything. I’m constantly snappy at people when I’m like this. I just want to stay in and hide away from the world. I honestly feel as though I’m fighting a war and no matter how hard I fight, I’m going to loose.